Tio Jaime

Rina wrote a letter to God on Friday:

Friday February 1, 2008

God, Oh how it hurts my heart to see my Uncle in the state he is in. Give me strength to be able to endure these days. I feel like this week has been so long and only want this nightmare to finally be over.

I don’t want my Tio to continue to suffer. I know that you told Brian that he wouldn’t die this week, but I beg you God to please— give peace and love for my Tio and give strength to my Grandmother so that she suffers less. Please God, don’t allow my Tio to suffer more than he already has. Allow my Grandmother to spend time with him but without seeing how he is suffering.

May it be your will in our lives father. Give my Tio your peace, your love, and your mercy. Give him the opportunity to long for you, to have thirst for your love. May it be your will. Holy spirit, bless all my Tios , bless my family one by one. Keep us where you want us to be and help us to overcome this pain together. Help us to be better at showing your love to other people. Forgive my mother for her sins and shortcomings and help me to forgive her also. Keep and protect my brothers and sisters and my Papi. Bless them greatly Lord. Thank you for everything good that you are, for the opportunity you give me to follow your way. Don’t leave me, rather take me by the hand and lead me. I love you Lord Jesus, Rina.

This was the prayer that my girlfriend Rina wrote at 12 in the night, on Friday, after spending all day with Tio Jaime. Rina and her aunt had been taking care of him for the past week, attending to him for all his needs. Tio Jaime, whom many of you read about over Christmas when we put up his tree, had lost the ability to move and operate because of the cancer in his stomach. He had stopped eating and only accepted a few spoonfuls of broth to pass in-between his then parched lips. He said to even sip a bit of water was too much pain. In the states, cancer patients receive Morphine and other powerful pain drugs, but Tio Jaime had a few injections of a weaker substance and Tylenol. He never complained.

The last week he was bedridden, no longer able to support the skinny 100 pounds of mass he has shrunken to. He told me right before I went to Tegucigalpa that he couldn’t walk anymore because the sandals he wore felt too heavy. He could no longer lift his foot with them on. He just laid in bed while listening to Spanish preachers on T.V. He let Rina bathe him with a washcloth which left his skin feeling pasty and cold because the heat would not return to his body when she finished. He was forced to wear a diaper, which Tia Orbalina daily helped him put on. Rina took off work and spent the last few days cleaning the house for him, sitting with him, and loving him. Friday at midnight, she left him with Tia Orbalina, his sister, and Rina went to her house above to get a few hours of sleep. It was then that with tears in her eyes she wrote out the prayer above. She was so worried about the pain Tio felt and how sad he must have been; she cried out to God to give him peace and fell asleep in her longing. Tio Jaime died four hours later at 5 am February second.

They say that he repented before he went and we all hope that he is in Heaven now. When Tio died, I was in Tegucigalpa with the medical team. We had just gone to Via Cristina which is a community outside Tegus, built on the arid side of the water tower mountain. We had just set up clinic when I got the message by text to my phone. I read it and could not believe it. I thought for sure he would not die until I had returned. I had asked God and he had told me. As I stood in the middle of the crowd dazed, someone tried to take a photo with me. I knew I had to go back. Bob understandingly packed me up and took me straight back down the mountain to the traffic of the city. Two hours later I left on the bus and seven hours later I arrived in Cortes.

When someone dies in Honduras the family calls the funeral house and they send over a coffin, a stand, and wood shavings. They pay a nurse to come and inject the body with preservation chemicals and to block all passageways and bodily openings with cotton. They then wash and dress the body and place it in the coffin and place the coffin on the stand and move it into the living room of the house. The wood shavings are mixed with ice and put in big buckets under the pine box in hopes that the cool air will rise and keep the body from decomposing. Every fan in the house is brought out to hopefully cool the sala down. The family all comes over with the intention of staying all night or all day. This is called the Velorio or the viewing. It is a chance for all to come and say goodbye to the deceased.

In Tio’s case, the velorio was in his own living room. All the furniture was pushed back, the motorcycle put in the bedroom, and he became the centerpiece of the room with a few flowers to adorn him. Tables and chairs from every house around were brought in and set in the area in front of his house. Luis strung up lights on a cable from tree to tree and for the next three days, neighbors, family, friends, and curious children came and stayed all day and night. They played cards, they told stories, they ate and drank, and tried not to sleep. Rina’s house was turned into a giant kitchen and nap area. She didn’t sleep the whole three days as it was her and her family’s responsibility to cook and attend for all the guests. On the fourth day we buried Jaime in the public cemetery just after his mother was able to arrive from Canada and say goodbye to him through the glass on the box.

Everyone is good now, sad to be sure, but ok. Now that the burial has taken place, things have turned a bit back to normal. Rina finally slept (and so did everyone else) and she is now back at work. We have taken to spending the evenings with Abuela, Karen, Luis and Gisel in Jaime’s living room and playing bingo until someone runs out of money. We are all sad that Jaime passed away, but we know he feels better now, and we all still can put smiles on our faces. Rina and the family have moments when they silently cry remembering Jaime but that is good, and they will always remember him. Thank you all for supporting us and me. Thank you for your prayers those of you who knew. I wanted to share what went on and I promise to write something happier next time, although this is a happy story in its own way. Because of this, Jaime now is resting in Heaven, Abuela (grandma) is now in Honduras for a month to see us, the family finally got a chance to be united for three days, and Rina talked to God.

Love you all,

Brian